What's Your Child's Love Language?

Photo Cred: Caroline Hernandez, Unsplash

Photo Cred: Caroline Hernandez, Unsplash

In 1992, Gary Chapman wrote a book which transformed the way we looked at how we love and are loved. In his “The 5 Love Languages,” he spoke about how each individual internalizes and interprets love differently.

The beauty of this is that children are no different. They interpret love in different ways and no child is alike. You may have 3 kids and all of them prefer to receive love differently. The benefit of knowing your child’s specific love language is that she will feel more connected and love by you the more you express it she likes it. And we all know what that means for children- more confidence, more self-assurance, less fear, more resiliency and more empathy.

So take the quiz below to know what your child’s love language is!


Plan Together As A FAMILY... and Accomplish More!

How do you have a happy 2019? Create a family plan.

 

Family Plans are not just a list (although it can be) of the things you want to accomplish as a family. It sets your intentions, overall vision and how you will work together as a family. 

By writing your plan down and making a family thing it increases the chances of you meeting your goals. It makes you more focused on what’s important and who is contributing to what. It also allows you to know when and to what to say no to (which ultimately helps with dwindling down your to do list). It is peace of mind and everyone knows what is expected of everyone. 

 How to create a successful and fun family plan? 

First determine what it is that you want to include and important to you.

We usually keep it one sheet and simple. We also try to make it visual (for the little ones) by putting pictures that resonates with our plan on the back of it (voila- your vision board). 

In ours we include-

Bucket list- activities we want to do as a family 

 family word of the year - this is our mantra and easily reminds everyone what is it that we want to strive for or feel 

 goals - what each family is contributing back to the family or want to do for themselves. 

 Show of Kindness- what are the acts that we will do this year to show that we care in our community, to our family, friends and ourselves. 

 Family Motto & Rules- this is where we include what is it that we stand for and our rules for the years. Try to keep the rules to no more than 3. 

the people we want to spend time with most- this can be people that we want to keep in touch with or create a stronger bond as a family, or that we lost touch with and want to rekindle the relationship

and that’s it! Our kids love it and feel a sense of accomplishment and understanding on how we will use the year.  

And to make it easier for you, we have created this download where all you have to do is include the information in each box. Then you can use the back as your vision board and include the pictures. Go to Goodies to download it! 

Resolutions? Get Rid of Them!

Before you dive into your 2019 resolutions...

Think of this-

New Year #resolutions are broken by March. Why?  Because they are too constricting, overwhelming and complicated  to keep up or meet them.  

And let’s face it we are a species that are simple and crave things to be easy. 

So why have them in the first place? Just get rid of them. 

Instead choose a feeling or word that will represent what you want to accomplish for the year. 

 Benefits of a Word 

The beauty of choosing a word or feeling that that will represent the year is that it is flexible and broad enough that you can choose different experiences, tasks and activities to meet it. You are not constricted into one specific to do (and we all know that with our hectic lives, we are lucky enough when we take a shower- so flexibility is key). 

It’s focused enough that if anything comes to you and doesn’t fit into your chosen word or feeling you can either delete it, say no, or choose not to do it.

And it’s simple and easy enough that you will remember all the time and not forget half way in March. 

 How to Choose a Word or Feeling

But how can we choose the perfect word or feeling for the year. Because we all know that we want to accomplish many things.

First you have see what it is the one thing that will make you feel good at the end of 2019 when you say you have accomplished it. Is it that you want to finish the unfinished books you have put on the side because “not enough time?” Is it that you want to lose weight? Is it that you want to finally create that side hustle. Whatever it may be, it will definitely have a word that describe it. And if you have many see what is the overall consensus on all of them.

For starters, for the unfinished option, your word may be “accountable” 

and for losing weight it may be “active, mobile, movement,”  

and for the side hustle - “launch”  

and if you look at all three, the perfect word is accountable. So write that one down in your planner. that is your word. And then for feeling it may be “Satisfied.” 

Whatever the end goal is, pick one actionable word or feeling to describe it. 

For instance, for me- my end goal is not to scream at my kids. I also want to trust and let things come to me because I noticed that I am a control freak.

Therefore, I chose the feeling Calm. I want to tackle everything I do with a calm demeanor. So when the kids are driving me crazy or something is triggering a response that makes me scream, I say to myself in my quiet voice- Calm. And immediately I calm down and stops me from screaming. 

And then for my word I chose - Trust

or if you put it together Calm Trust.

This provides me with a vision of calm and of being trusting. Also the words are actionable enough that allows me to act or reminds me to do just what I intend to accomplish.

And don’t beat yourself if you have more than one word. For instance, I also have confidence, and depending on the situation I use it interchangeably with Trust. So some days my mantra is Calm Confidence and the other day it may be Calm Trust, 

And if you pick two words-just make sure that the words work with each other. Like Trust helps with gaining confidence and Vice versa. They help each other be powerful and reinforce what I want to accomplish.  

And what I love the most about it is that I have the flexibility to change it at any time (because life happens) and still feel accomplished.  

So remember forget the resolutions and instead replace them with a feeling or word because your 2019 self will thank you for it! 

What is your word or feeling? Why? Do share! 

 

Xo! 

Clara

Want More Time? Say No More Often!

We often say yes to everything that is “offered” to us. We fear that if we don’t, people will not like us, stop inviting us to experiences or events, stop talking to us, may be seen as not dedicated enough at work… and the list goes on.

But we are here to tell you.

Let all that go.

Because if you want more time and time to spend on the things that matter to you most, the best solution is to say NO.

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Now say it with me - “N-O.”

No is a magical word. It sets you free and allows you to be more in control and selective over what you do with your most limited resource- time. Time is the only thing you don’t get back.

Therefore its imperative to guard it and use it wisely.

Also, by saying no, believe it or not, you become more productive because you are working on quality of work rather than everything thrown at you (and I know EVERYTHING will be thrown at you, after all you are a mom).

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How do you say NO?

Eloquently.

“I would have loved to help, but currently I’m booked that week.”

Without fear.

Say - “Thanks for the invite/ request/ opportunity but I am not available or interested.

Swaping one thing for another.

“I’m not able to run the committee, but I am able to help with X.”

Now, of course saying NO is a hard thing to do.

Oh, we know. But we know that with practice you will become an expert “NOer”.

And you will feel amazing!

For more ideas and tactics on how to say no… here is the “Say No” Guide. Download it now.