The Questions to Ask to Unlock Discipline

Listen to this weeks podcast on Discipline!

A while back I received a comment to one of my Instagram posts about embracing change. The comment made me ponder about the word discipline. The commentator, who was not a follower, and just liked the picture said, “ You seem like pretty cool but know that it takes discipline.” I told her thanks and went on my merry way.

But the comment kept popping in my head. Because after reading it, it seemed more like a direct jab at me and not about how it takes discipline to embrace change (which it does) like I thought she meant at first. Was she trying to tell me that I needed discipline? I still disregarded it because I quickly realized that it was more her biased perception of what she deemed important. Instagram posting not as important to me as it was to her (peeped her account to understand more about her). Funny how we get judged by others based on what they feel should be important to us vs. what is really reality for us.

Four months forward, I got certified through Breath 4 Change Wellness & Yoga Teacher Training and there we learned about the 5 Niyamas - the 5 Principles of Life. We learned that to reach enlightenment everyone is to practice the Niyamas and the Yamas. Tapas- burning discipline is the 3rd principle and helps us with consistently take action in our every day lives.

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Then during one of the activities, I was to pick a piece of paper from a bowl, I was to act it out on and everyone else was to determine what it was based on my actions. It read- “Tapas- Burning Discipline.” Then that night Mami told me… “I think your kids are amazing but they still need a bit more discipline.”

I was like, ok Gd, I hear you loud and clear. Because as I always say… Gd speaks to you in different ways.

So I researched the definition:

Discipline-

1. the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience

2. the controlled behavior resulting from discipline

3. activity or experience that provides mental or physical training

4. a branch of knowledge, typically one studied in higher education

5. punish or rebuke (someone) formally for an offense

6. train oneself to do something in a controlled and habitual way

When a word has more than one definition that means that it has evolved throughout the years and its true meaning had been changed or adapted with time. Sadly, the true meaning of “discipline” means to control, obey rules, and punishment (if you don’t obey the rules, punishment will be provided). It has nothing to do with being consistent with the actions we do, until definition #6 (which was adapted way into late 1900s).

After reading this, I asked myself “am I not discipline enough?”

Well, yes.. to an extent.

I am discipline to start something and finishing something (hence why I did I am good at my profession), but to the things that are long term and beneficial to me… honestly, no. I would start a working out routine and then 3 months into it “because one of the kids went in my bed and threw my sleep off,” I get off the plan.

Thankfully, I was able to recognize this about myself. But I also know and learned that saying to have discipline and keeping the discipline is not as easy as we make it out to be (if not everyone would stay discipline even on the things they like doing).

Discipline is harder to achieve because not only are we drawn to instant gratification, but also discipline is an extrinsic action. I am doing X because I am getting Y. Usually it doesn’t come from internal reasons. Think about it - you are losing weight because a jean didn’t fit, or someone made a comment, or your cousin is getting all the attention because she lost the weight. Rarely do I hear someone say, I’m losing weight because I know and feel that I’m unhealthy (and truly mean it).

The good thing though is that we have other things in our toolbox that if we couple it with disciple provides us with the secret sauce of maintaining our discipline going and never breaking it.

What are those things that we have in our arsenal but rarely think we need when it comes to discipline? Determination, Persistence and Driven. When we include that into the mixed we immediately make discipline possible. Why? Because determination, persistency, and driven attributes come from within. These attributes allow you to truly understand that in order to have discipline I must be determined to do and take an action regardless of what may come, driven enough to care for my why am I doing it, and persistent enough to keep at it.

Why Drive + Determination + Persistence = Iron Clad Discipline of actions that keep going and going and going

Now, how do we tap into drive, determination and persistence? First, we have to understand that we all have these attributes we just turn it on differently. For some, it may be a big milestone in life, for others it may be a crises, but the most effective method is reflecting on what is going - dissecting the truth of why the discipline is not working.

Listen to this episode and download the E-book to learn the best questions to ask to unlock your discipline and tap into other characteristics of yourself to keep your discipline going.

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And by the way, I would love to hear how you tap into discipline muscle! So let me know via email at clara@resiliencygroupllc.com or via Instagram DM - @Claramazing. I love to hear from you!